Archive for May, 2010

Our desires…

A couple of nights ago in bed, I was asking God pretty much to what extent does He care about our desires. I didn’t understand.

‘cast all your cares upon Him. He cares for you…’

‘see first His kingdom and He will give you the desires of your heart’

So do our desires have to match up with his first? Do we have to make sure what we want is what He wants? In the big scheme of things, are our desires even important?? These were my questions.

God help me to understand biblically and by Your Spirit, what we  desire and the role of those desires and how we are meant to handle them.

God brought to mind the story of Abraham and Sarah. Sarah wanted a child. God blessed her with one but there was the bigger picture of His will in mind.  The fulfilling of her desire wasn’t just about her, it was for God’s plan for the tribes of Israel.

Hannah…wanted a child. She cried, wept, poured out her heart to God; understood His control; GOT UP; no longer sad; Samuel was conceived; she gave thanks to God BUT Samuel wasn’t just for her. He was to be a minister and prophet for God’s people. He anointed Israel’s first two kings.

Both Hannah and Sarah’s children were for Israel….God’s bigger picture. But they were also a blessing to them.

So He cares for our desires but ultimately all is for His glory so we have to trust and have faith in Him who knows the big plan and as a result will orchestrate the small details.

Marriage? Not just a blessing for someone as an individual but it plays a role in His plan for His church. My grandparents marriage was a ministry. Was beautiful to see. Everything about our lives…even the things we desire…is all for the glory of God. Can’t wait to see His plans continue to unfold…


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The last few months this thought has been entering my head…randomly…must be the Holy Spirit…that Jesus is actually coming back. Freaked me out. I would push it away and busy myself with what I was doing. Didn’t want to think about it. Got me thinking why I was responding like that. What would I change if I knew He was coming?

I don’t want Jesus to come back and find me pursuing earthly things and the desires of the flesh. I desire to be a faithful servant. Only by God changing my heart. Only by His Spirit & grace at work in my life. I want to be found faithful.

Being faithful doesn’t mean doing a million things but rather the state of your heart as you do them.

I will remind myself of this whenever I am distracted. Whenever I am frustrated.  I want the thought that He is coming to excite me, not make me fearful. I want to get to a place of intimacy with Him where wanting to be with Him is normal. Paul had this kind of eagerness. Maybe some things in my heart need readjusting…

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Grandpop you had the biggest influence on my life. You were wisdom. You were love. You were a hug, prayer, correction, a cry, an encouragement. I thank God that you were in my life. These are my promises to you…inspired by you : )

I will enjoy food with full anticipation and excitement.

I will use my words to build up and strengthen.

I will hand it to Jesus and not take it back.

I will pray.

I will honour Mum and Dad.

I will spend time with Nanna.

I will be to my brothers what you were to me.

I will be generous.

I will do my best.

I will make silly jokes.

I will make every decision in the Spirit.

I will be committed to church.

I will put people first.

I will be a regular at a restaurant with my husband.

I will be cheeky.

I will be stubborn.

If overwhelmed, I will stand still and say ‘Jesus, Jesus, Jesus’.

I will go on ‘mystery trips’.

I will continue to encourage Dad.

I won’t show partiality or favouritism.

I will give hugs and kisses THROUGH the phone no matter how stupid it sounds.

I will sleep in Jesus’ arms.

I will have smoothies.

I will try and keep my room clean and tidy.

AND most importantly…I will always have room for dessert.


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Worry. Pressure. Expectation. Emotion. Anxiety. Stress. Daily routine. Life. Sin. Hurt. Selfishness. Pushes between me and Jesus. Takes my focus. Takes my excitement. Reminds me of God’s purpose: intimacy with me. Reminds me of the devil’s purpose: to steal, kill and destroy that intimacy. The righteous man may fall but he gets back up. He may feel pressure from every side but he will not be crushed. The Word. Prayer. The Holy Spirit. Jesus’ blood. I will fight for closeness with Jesus. As I fight, I draw near. As I draw near, so does He. He has fought and won. Our fight has been won we just have to step into victory. Step into that closeness with Jesus.

It’s there. Step into.

“Seek Me and I will be found by you,” says the Lord.

Be anxious for nothing but pray continually.

Just seek Him and He will direct your steps.

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God transforms us by the renewing of our mind. If our minds are renewed, we are transformed. Our mind is powerful. It is where the devil attacks us. It is where he clouds our vision making us feel hopeless and purposeless . In this dark, cold, scary and lonely mind is a soft, piercing light. It is God’s word. Direct from Him, ministered to us by another or by His written word.

As our mind becomes aware of this light, it grows; gets brighter. But the darkness fights  back. The light however is persistent. It has the authority of a victory already attained. It comes back. Soft, gentle, piercing.

God fights for those who trust Him. His mighty, righteous hand reaches through despair. The darkness struggles but the light always has more power. All of heaven, hosts of angels & God himself fight on our side. On my side. I can’t. So the Most High fights.

In any darkness we have assurance of light. If it is one flicker, we cling to it. We fan it. We trust it. We do things until our minds are light. They are clear, free and engaged. This is Jesus renewing our mind. Transforming us into His bride for an eternal wedding feast. An eternity of dancing, worshipping and joy.

“Don’t be afraid to laugh,” says the Lord.

“Do not doubt what I have called you to”.

I am not doing this on my own.

Joshua 1:9- “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

revive: “to cause to live”

Revive me according to Your word.

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Dear God,

I stand before you helpless, because I believe that someone helpless can still stand.

I worship You with a broken heart because I believe every piece can still worship.

I lift crying eyes on to You because I believe crying eyes can still fix on You.

I collapse a tired body at Your feet because I believe a tired body can still make it to Your feet.

I come confused because I believe one confused can still ask questions.

I pray full of fear and anxiety because I believe someone who is fearful and anxious can still pray.

I sing to You while I’m hurting because I believe someone who is hurting can still sing.

God you see a mess from the other side of eternity where it is beauty. But You don’t stay there. You come amongst the mess. Amongst Your people. Cause You know. You just know. You come to be our God. Everything of yours must be purified because it will stand in Your presence one day. Purification comes through trial. That is why we must embrace trial. Jesus did. That’s why He was the perfect ultimate sacrifice. Value is created in the ‘test’. Like when a 70 year old has a teddy that they got when they were born…it has passed the ‘test’ of time so is valuable. We are being made into the image of Christ. That is value. This life will test us. But the most valuable thing is our hearts being purged in the fire to be made into His image. Where there is value there is love. And where there is love, there is God. He truly is in control.

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“In the midst of being exhausted, I want you. In the anxiousness of my body, at moments during the day, I want to praise You and read Your word. Part of me fights it so I can just be ‘real’ before You. But no! It’s Your Spirit rising up in me as my strength that I’m pushing down. Praising You in the midst of this trial, it is being real. You are real. Your Spirit is help and comfort. My faith is being tested. And it will stand! It will. Because You are faithful. You are my strength.

Nothing left. No energy. Tired. Stressed. Weak. Unsure. Zapped of  joy. But guess what? They have no power! They actually don’t have any authority. You do! In the name of Jesus, let Your peace and joy prevail.

The joy of the Lord is my strength. He never rests. He is sure- a rock.

Full of all I lack, I meditate on Your character God.

Body stay in line with my spirit who believes in God.

haha I trust You! That is it. My hope is in You. There it is. Freedom from any and every weight. Your burden is easy. It is light. Rest for the weary is in trusting You.

Jesus Christ. The High Priest. In standing I lift Your name high. Lifting the hands that You have made holy.


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